Dating but not boyfriend
What I’m talking about here is completely different. Why not just save intercourse for men who verbally told you that they want to be exclusive with you? Now to avoid being misinterpreted: if you WANT to text, fuck, and not have any expectations from the guy, God Bless You.
(Unless, of course, he’s a psycho who would lie to your face to get laid – and I’m suggesting most normal men would rather find another woman than to do that.) “There is a shaming of women for wanting to have sex.” From whom? As I said in my original post, “I’m not remotely judgmental of those who have sex without commitment.” Hell, I’ve had a lot of sex without commitment. Waiting for some arbitrary time period has never been the point.But choosing a boyfriend is a considerably lower bar to jump than choosing a husband.You “sex first” people act as if you have to have sex before commitment or else. Or else you’d discover after a month that you have different libidos, or that he isn’t great at cunnilingus?Because, you’re right: a guy can “wait you out” for 7 arbitrary dates, fuck you, and then bail.
But since most men do not want the hassle or the emotion of calling you a girlfriend and THEN bailing, by refusing sex without commitment, you weed those guys out.
“Best thing is to remove expectations so you will never get hurt.” As a dating coach, I spend a lot of time managing women’s expectations and trying to ensure they’re realistic.